a woman looking sad an unworthy

Feeling Undeserving of Love? How to Feel Worthy Once More

Many people have feelings of inadequacy. They feel undeserving of love and happiness because they don’t believe they deserve it.

It is easy to feel this way when you are constantly faced with hardship. There are also experiences from our past that tell this story. However, this mindset will only keep you stuck in the past and unable to move forward into a better future.

In order to overcome these feelings, there are some things that need to be addressed on an emotional level before anything else can happen.

If you have been feeling underserving of love, read on to learn why you may be feeling this way and what you can do about it. With a little work, you can start to feel worthy once more.

Why Do We Feel Undeserving of Love?

It can be challenging to navigate feelings of unworthiness when you’re not sure where they are coming from. Here are some of the most common reasons why people feel undeserving of love:

Negative Self-Talk

We are our own worst critics. When we engage in negative self-talk, it can lead to feelings of unworthiness and worthlessness. This can be a nearly subconscious process and you may not even be aware of how often you are putting yourself down.

If you find that you are constantly thinking or saying things like “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do anything right,” or “Nobody would want me anyway,” it is time to start paying attention to your thoughts.

These types of statements are usually indicative of low self-esteem and will only serve to reinforce feelings of unworthiness. They are usually told to us by others, such as parents, teachers, or peers. Over time we begin to internalize these messages and believe them to be true.

Past Hurts and Traumas

When we experience pain and trauma in our lives, it can be difficult to move on. These events can leave us feeling wounded and vulnerable. We may feel like we are not good enough or that we can’t trust anyone anymore.

The problem with past hurts and traumas is that when we are triggered by them, we feel like the experience is happening in the present time. This leads us to make associations between the past and the current moment in time. We may start to believe that we are not worthy of being loved because we have been hurt in the past.

Trauma is more than an idea, it lives in our bodies. In order to unwind the trauma, we need to start by feeling the sensations in our bodies. This can be difficult because it means that we have to feel the pain that we have been trying to avoid.

However, when we do this work, we begin to see that the pain is not who we are. We can start to build a new story for ourselves based on our own experiences, rather than the ones that were imposed on us.

Hardship in the Present

If you are going through a tough time right now, it can be hard to see anything positive about yourself. You may feel like you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve better.

This could be anything from getting hired and fired from a job, moving to a new home, having a baby, or dealing with a health issue. It is important to remember that these things do not define you. You are more than just your hardships.

When we go through tough times, it is easy to feel like we are the only ones who are dealing with this. However, this is rarely the case. There are others out there who can relate to the hardships you are facing and will offer their support.

Connect with others through support groups, online forums, or even in person. When you share your experiences with others, it can help to lessen the feelings of isolation and unworthiness.

Toxic People in Your Life

You may be surrounded by people who constantly put you down, making it difficult to feel worthy. This could be a family member, boss, romantic partner, or even a friend.

It can be hard to recognize that these people are toxic when they have been in your life for so long, but it is important to start taking care of yourself and removing them from your life. This may mean limiting contact with this person or even having an uncomfortable conversation.

When we spend time around toxic people, not only do we feel unworthy, but we also start to believe that this is the way life is supposed to be. This can keep us in unhealthy and abusive relationships for longer than we should stay.

You can start to exit this situation by taking yourself out of the environment. Don’t frequent the places that you know this person will be. If the toxic people are a part of your family, it may help to call or email them instead of seeing them in person.

It is possible for us to learn how to feel worthy once more after being around negative people who have made us believe otherwise. We just need to recognize where these feelings are coming from and start to build a new story for ourselves.

Being Different Than Others

If you are in a marginalized group, it can be hard to believe that people would love you for who you really are. You may feel like you need to be the same as everyone else in order for people to accept you.

This can be anything from your race, gender identity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and more. These differences make us unique; we should embrace them instead of hiding them away.

It is important that we start surrounding ourselves with people who love us for who we are. This can be difficult when the people around us do not accept us, but it is worth the effort.

Lack of Self-Forgiveness

If you have a hard time forgiving yourself for past mistakes, it can make you feel like an unworthy human being. You may beat yourself up over the smallest things, feeling like you are not good enough.

It can be helpful to look at these past mistakes through a new lens that focuses on growth instead of shame. It is easy for us to get stuck in this mindset because it was what we were taught growing up; however, there are other ways of looking at things.

When we forgive ourselves, it opens up the door for us to move on from these mistakes. We can start to see them as lessons that have helped us grow into the person we are today.

Self-forgiveness is not a one-time event, it is something that needs to be worked on continuously. It is easy to fall back into old habits, but each time you do that, it is another opportunity for growth.

Depression and Anxiety

If you are dealing with depression or anxiety, it can make you feel like a failure. You may feel like a burden on your friends and family members, making you believe that they would be better off without you.

It is important to seek help when dealing with these mental illnesses because it does not have to define who we are as human beings. There are things that can make the symptoms of depression or anxiety more manageable for us so that we can live our best lives.

It is okay to need help, and it does not make you any less worthy of love than anyone else. It takes a strong person to ask for assistance when they are struggling; we should be proud of ourselves for seeking out this help instead of feeling like we did something wrong by needing it in the first place. Reach out to your support network or local mental health charities if you feel like you need some support.

What Do You Do When You Don’t Feel Worthy of Love?

Now that you have identified why you’re experiencing these feelings, the next step is to learn how to overcome them.

Accept Where You’re At

The first step is acknowledging that the way you’re feeling is valid. You may not have chosen to feel this way, but it doesn’t make your emotions any less real.

Many people try to brush their feelings under the rug or ignore them altogether. This only ends up making them feel worse in the long run.

It is important to accept that you are feeling this way and to give yourself the time and space needed to work through these emotions.

Start Building a New Story for Yourself

Once you have given yourself permission to feel your feelings, it is time to start building a new story for yourself.

Think about all of the things in your life that make you feel unworthy and start to replace them with positive memories. This helps us see our lives from a different perspective, giving us hope for a brighter future.

This is something we need to constantly work on because it can be easy to fall back into old habits when we are struggling.

Be Good to Yourself

Another important thing you can do is be good to yourself. You deserve all of the love and respect in the world, but it won’t happen if you don’t give it first.

It’s easy for us to look at other people who are seemingly “perfect” and feel like we need to emulate them, but the truth of the matter is that nobody’s life is perfect.

We all have our own issues and problems to deal with; it just depends on which ones we choose to focus on more than others.

You are allowed to go at your own pace when learning how to feel better about yourself again because this process can be quite difficult.

There is no right or wrong way to do this, just as long as you are putting in the effort and being kind to yourself along the way.

Take Care of Your Body

When we are feeling down, it can be tempting to skip our workouts or eat unhealthy foods.

However, this will only make us feel worse in the long run.

It is important that we take care of our bodies by eating nutritious foods and exercising regularly. Staying hydrated and regularly drinking water is also a key factor in feeling better about ourselves.

This helps us to feel good both physically and mentally, which is crucial when we are trying to overcome our feelings of unworthiness.

Sleep is another important part of self-care. When we are tired, it is much easier to slip back into old habits because our mental state isn’t at its best.

So make sure you get plenty of sleep every night so that your mind can be refreshed and ready for the day ahead!

Take Care of Your Mind

There are many mentally strengthening exercises that we can do to help us feel more confident in ourselves.

One of these exercises is writing down our thoughts and feelings in a journal. This allows us to express ourselves freely without judgment, and it can be really helpful in terms of tracking our progress over time.

Another great way to take care of your mind is through meditation. This practice can help us to focus on the present moment and to let go of any negative thoughts or feelings that are bothering us.

Both of these exercises are great for helping us build self-confidence and feel more worthy in our lives.

Seek Professional Help

If you find that you are struggling to overcome your feelings of unworthiness on your own, it may be a good idea to seek professional help.

There are many therapists who specialize in helping people work through these types of emotions, and they can provide you with the tools and resources needed to start feeling better again.

You could also pursue a coach who specializes in personal development. This person can help you to set and achieve goals, as well as work through any personal issues that are holding you back from achieving your fullest potential.

If you don’t have the time or funds for hiring a therapist or coach, there are many books and courses that can also be helpful. Just make sure to stay self-disciplined when working on these materials and not push yourself too hard.

Take things slow and steady, and be gentle with yourself along the way.

Talk to Someone You Trust

Talking about our problems is one of the best ways to start feeling better about them.

Many people feel like they need to deal with their issues on their own, but this is not always the case.

You can reach out to a friend, family member, or even a therapist to talk about your feelings of unworthiness.

This can be really helpful in terms of getting some perspective and identifying any patterns that may be going on.

Talking openly and honestly is one of the best ways to start making progress when it comes to our emotions. Come to the conversation prepared. Decide what you will share with your friends, and what questions or advice you will ask of them.

This will help you to stay focused and make the most of your conversation.

Focus on Your Spiritual Development

When we focus on our spiritual development, it can help us to feel more connected to the world around us. Even if you’re not particularly religious or spiritual, this practice is about connecting to something larger than yourself and can guide you towards a better sense of self-worth.

There are many different spiritual practices that we can choose from when it comes to connecting with the world around us, such as meditation and yoga. Reading spiritual and philosophical texts are excellent ways to begin exploring this topic further.

When we start to feel more connected to the world around us, it can help us to feel more at peace with ourselves and our place in the world. This can be really helpful when it comes to overcoming feelings of unworthiness.

Treat Yourself to Something Nice

The first steps to feeling deserving of love are through giving it to yourself. There are so many lovely things you can do to support yourself, including:

  • Taking a bubble bath.
  • Getting pampered at the salon or spa (manicure, pedicure, hair cut and style)
  • Eating your favorite foods without feeling guilty
  • Making an effort to dress nicely each day
  • Spending time outside in nature
  • Buying yourself flowers, a new outfit, or something that you have been wanting

The more that you practice gifting to yourself, the more deserving of love you will feel.

Meet New People

You may not feel like meeting new people at a time where you feel undeserving of love.

However, this is another great way to get out of your comfort zone and start living a more fulfilling life.

This could be reaching out to people who you already know online or in real-life, such as coworkers and friends from school.

You can also make new connections by attending events related to self-improvement, classes, or traveling the world.

New people in your life will help to break the pattern of feeling undeserving and can introduce you to new experiences that will help you grow.

30 Affirmations For Feeling Worthy of Love

1. I am worthy of love.

2. I deserve happiness as much as anyone else.

3. My heart is full of love and compassion for myself.

4. It is a gift to be kind and compassionate to myself.

5. I am the biggest priority in my life.

6. I am worthy of receiving love in all forms.

7. The more I love myself, the more love comes into my life.

8. Loving myself is a lifelong journey that is worth taking.

9. When I am kind and compassionate to myself, I feel happier and more at peace.

11. I accept myself just as I am.

12. Every moment is a new opportunity for growth and self-love.

13. The past does not define me – I choose how to interpret it.

14. I am growing and changing every day and I am never too late to start loving myself.

15. I have many strengths and qualities that make me special and unique.

16. My personal experiences have taught me a lot about life, love, and compassion.

17. The more I learn to love myself, the more love I have to give others.

18. A life without love is not a life worth living.

19. I am grateful for all the love in my life, both big and small.

20. Every time I give myself love, it strengthens my relationship with myself.

21. Love is one of the most powerful emotions we can experience – and I deserve to feel it!

22. I am worthy of all the good things life has to offer.

23. I will never stop learning and growing, and that includes my ability to love myself.

24. Love is always available to me, wherever I am, and whoever I am with.

25. The more love I give away, the more love comes back to me.

26. I am open and receptive to all the love that is around me.

27. Love is always expanding and growing, just like me.

28. I am my own best friend.

29. I am worthy of being in a healthy, loving relationship.

30. My energy and love are valuable and abundant and I choose to share them with those who appreciate them.

How to Use These Affirmations

There are many ways to use these affirmations. You can recite them out loud every day, write them down and post them where you will see them often, or keep them in your journal. You can also use them as part of a meditation practice or when you’re feeling low on self-love. No matter how you choose to use them, know that this is a journey and you will get better with practice.

Final Thoughts

When you’re feeling undeserving of love, it’s always a perception of the world versus a reality. Some experience, person, or circumstance made you feel that way.

By taking the time to separate your sense of self from the occurrence that happened, you will be able to start rebuilding your self-esteem and feeling worthy once more.

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