What is the point of setting goals if you don’t have any hope of reaching them? The truth is that setting unrealistic goals can be counterproductive.
In order to stop setting unrealistic goals, you need to have the patience to simplify and break goals down. While this may seem like it will slow progress, it will ultimately help you to achieve your goals more quickly, since you’ll experience less failure overall.
There are some key steps to take in order to stop this cycle and start meeting your goals for real. In this blog post, we’ll go over 6 strategies for stopping this bad habit once and for all!
6 Ways to Stop Setting Unrealistic Goals
Unrealistic goals become problems when we keep setting them over and over again, expecting a different outcome. This can lead to major burnout and can, in fact, sabotage your priorities altogether. Luckily, there are some steps you can take to stop setting unrealistic goals and get back on track.
1. Get Clear On the Outcome You Want
When you keep setting unrealistic goals over and over again, the first thing to do is get clear on what outcome you want. What exactly are your priorities?
Sometimes it can help to write down all of the things that matter most in life as a way of getting clarity on where you should be spending your time and energy.
Instead of saying, “I want to make a lot of money,” say, “I want to make $1,000 dollars with my side hustle in one month.” This is a helpful anchor that you can return to when you feel like you’re losing your way.
2. Create Specific Action Steps
Breaking down your goals into specific action steps is crucial for meeting your priorities.
When creating action steps, make sure they are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. This will help you to stay on track and achieve your goals in a realistic timeframe.
Each action should be scheduled at a specific time and you should be clear about what you need to accomplish at that time. For example, if you need to do some research for a goal, decide which websites or courses are best for learning on, set a time for completing that action step, then set another one.
Make sure to evenly space your action steps and take into account any other life obligations that may get in the way. For example, if you’re setting goals around the holidays, be sure to schedule larger action steps before you take time off with family, and smaller ones during these busy times.
3. Make Space For Imperfections
Perfectionism is often what leads us to set unrealistic goals in the first place. We think that we need everything to be perfect before it’s worthy of our time and energy, but this just isn’t true.
If you want something bad enough then there will always be some imperfections along the way. And while perfection is great for your Pinterest board, it’s not so great for your actual life.
In order to make space for imperfection, you need to be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to mess up every once in a while. This means that you should celebrate your victories, but also allow yourself the freedom to learn from your mistakes.
One way to plan goals and schedule for imperfection is to not fill up your calendar entirely. Assume that once or twice a week, you won’t be as productive as normal. This is very natural and usually means that we need to reset and build our energy up again.
If you make time for these moments, you can easily move your goals into another time slot without it having a major consequence on your progress.
4. Build In Small Wins
When we lose motivation, it makes it harder to achieve our goals. If we are setting unrealistic goals, this is even more challenging.
A great way to maintain drive and motivation is by creating small wins for ourselves along the way. This way, we can celebrate the small things and feel a sense of accomplishment throughout.
This also keeps us from getting overwhelmed by our goals because, instead of thinking about everything that needs to be done in order to achieve them, all you have to do is look back on what has been accomplished up until today.
You can do this by breaking your goals into smaller action steps and giving yourself small rewards for completing them. If you want to take a break from work, go outside and enjoy the sunshine instead of scrolling through social media all day long.
At the end of the week, if you’ve accomplished 90% of your tasks, consider giving yourself an even bigger win. Treat yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant or have a pampering spa day at home.
Sharing your wins with others is another way to stay accountable and on track. When you tell your friends or family about the small steps you’ve succeeded at, they will support you in your journey and remind you that what you’re doing is important.
5. Do Weekly, Monthly, & Annual Reviews
It can be hard to see the big picture when you’re in the thick of things. That’s why it is important to review your goals on a regular basis so that you can adjust them as necessary. This is called working “on” things, as opposed to working “in” them.
Reviewing at least once per week makes sure that everything stays fresh and helps you to avoid falling off track completely. Reviewing monthly gives us time to evaluate our progress and make adjustments as necessary. If we review yearly, it’s a good way to see how far we’ve come and remind ourselves of the big picture for our goals.
Make sure that your reviews include looking back at what you have accomplished, taking into consideration setbacks or other life circumstances that may have been out of your control, and making any necessary adjustments. You might also consider using a bullet journal or planner to keep track of things.
If you do this with consistency, it will make it easier for you to see where you need to make adjustments to obtain reasonable goals. You may surprise yourself once you see how often you hit certain goals. You also may be surprised by how often you don’t hit a goal, put it on your to-do list again, and run into the same problems.
Reflecting on our progress helps us figure out how to break the cycle and make adjustments that can make our lives easier and more efficient.
6. Be Willing to Change or Alter Goals
Unrealistic goals usually come from unrealistic expectations that we are not willing to change.
For example, if you are trying to lose 20 pounds within a month’s time frame, your goal is probably too unrealistic. Even if you’re someone who has lost weight in the past very quickly through unhealthy means such as crash dieting or over-exercising.
It would be helpful to ask yourself, “why am I requiring myself to lose 20 pounds in a month?” What is the driving force behind this? Is it true that it has to happen in one month, or are you willing to make the sacrifice to achieve this goal in two months?
If giving more time and space to your goals means you’re more likely to accomplish them, this may be worth changing your initial mindset for more valuable long-term results.
Why Do We Set Unrealistic Goals?
We set unrealistic goals because we want to be perfect. We want to be the best at everything we do, and this is usually not possible. Why do we have this insatiable drive towards perfection?
It normally comes from external pressure and expectations. For example, perhaps we are trying to achieve unrealistic goals in order to impress others and “prove” them wrong. Or maybe we set our sights too high because someone else has told us that we can achieve this goal, so it must be possible. This is not always the case since we all have unique needs and capacities.
It’s also common for people who have low self-esteem issues to push themselves toward success by setting unrealistic goals, in an effort to prove themselves worthy of love and affection.
This is not a healthy mindset for achieving long-term success since it usually results in failure over time which only makes the underlying issues worse.
When looking into why you set unrealistic goals, have compassion for yourself. Understand that you are only human and are dealing with a lot of external pressure from work, friends, family, social media, and more.
You can change this mindset by recognizing the long-term benefits for more reasonable goals, reminding yourself that you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else does, and believing in your own unique abilities without feeling the need to compare them with someone else.
How to Know if You’re Setting Unrealistic Goals
Here are some common symptoms that come from setting unrealistic goals:
- You’re constantly stressed out and overwhelmed.
- You can never seem to accomplish your goals, no matter how hard you try.
- Your goals are always changing, being updated, or compromised because you can never quite achieve them.
- Your physical and/or mental health is declining as a result of trying to meet your unrealistic goals
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, it might be time to take a step back and slow down. You can help yourself by taking better care of your physical health through exercise or meditation, as well as setting small goals that you know for sure you can accomplish.
Final Thoughts
In a world where we are pressured to have peak performance in every area of our lives, it’s no wonder that so many people struggle with unrealistic goals.
It’s important to remember that there is no shame in admitting defeat and re-assessing your goals. In fact, this can be a very powerful step in the right direction.
Be kind to yourself as you go through this process and remember that you deserve to be happy and healthy, regardless of what other people might think about your goals.