We all have experiences where other people don’t treat us right. It could involve a challenging relationship with your partner, a difficult colleague at work, or even tension with a family member. It’s part of life, and these quotes about being the bigger person will help you navigate these circumstances.
What does it mean to be a bigger person?
Being a bigger person means you have decided to rise above the behavior that’s being directed at you. You can’t control how others react, but you do have control over your own behavior.
This might involve choosing to not respond with pettiness and instead responding with calmness and composure. It could also mean taking steps to solve conflict first, even though you weren’t the person who created it.
Being the bigger person means you value connection and reconciliation over conflict and tension. It’s not easy to act this manner, but you’ll always be grateful when you do choose to respond in this way.
Why should I be the bigger person?
It might seem frustrating to always be the bigger person, especially when you feel that a situation is unjust. You might wonder what the benefits of responding in this way really are.
I believe the answer is simple: inner peace.
Conflict with others is known to cause a lot of physical, mental, and emotional stress. Our relationships are a vital part of life, so when there’s tension, we are going to feel it.
If you hold onto negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and resentment, you’re probably doing a lot more harm than good to your own wellbeing. Being the bigger person means you value your own wellbeing, as well as the wellbeing of others involved.
Does this mean you shouldn’t say what you really mean and hide your feelings? Not at all. Communication is very important, and it’s vital that you express your feelings to those who need to hear them. The difference is, you have a choice in how you choose to communicate.
Being the bigger person with Nonviolent Communication
I am a huge fan of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). This form of communication was created by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s, and is a highly effective way of resolving tension or misunderstandings.
NVC is based on the idea that conflict is caused by humans not meeting each other’s needs and making assumptions. When we approach each other with empathy and understanding, we are able to make reasonable requests, and hopefully resolve the matter.
Being the bigger person is all about putting your ego aside and trying your best to resolve the situation at hand. It might not always work, and you can never predict somebody else’s behavior, but you can only try your best.
Here are our favorite quotes about being the bigger person:
Quotes about being the bigger person
- “Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” – Brian Tracy
- “Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.” – Henry Ford
- “Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
- “Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry his own weight, this is a frightening prospect.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
- “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” – Jackie Robinson
- “Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.” – Marilu Henner
- “No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.” – Taylor Swift
- “Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” – Will Smith
- “The way you see people is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is what they become.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
- “When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better.” – Solange Knowles
Quotes about revenge
- “Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
- “Revenge… is like a rolling stone, which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with a greater violence, and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion.” – Jeremy Taylor
- “There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” – Josh Billings
- “Revenge and retaliation always perpetuate the cycle of anger, fear and violence.” – Coretta Scott King
- “I’m not one to take revenge. If someone does something wrong to me I leave it in the hands of the universe to take care of that person.” – Lana Parrilla
- “Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you.” – Austin O’Malley
- “The problem with revenge is that it never evens the score. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain. Both are stuck on the escalator as long as parity is demanded, and the escalator never stops.” – Lewis B. Smedes
- “What is forgiveness? An emotion? A coping mechanism? An element of deepest faith? A way for the heart and soul to combat the type of hate, anger, rage and a thirst for revenge that could ultimately consume a person? All of those and more?” – Mike Barnicle
- “May we not succumb to thoughts of violence and revenge today, but rather to thoughts of mercy and compassion. We are to love our enemies that they might be returned to their right minds.” – Marianne Williamson
- “Revenge is a caustic thing. I say, breathe in, breathe deeply, let it go.” – Jason Statham
Quotes about the actions we take
- “The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.” – Coretta Scott King
- “Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
- “Practice self-awareness, self-evaluation, and self-improvement. If we are aware that our manners – language, behavior, and actions – are measured against our values and principles, we are able to more easily embody the philosophy, leadership is a matter of how to be, not how to do.” – Frances Hesselbein
- “Everybody is responsible for their own actions. It’s easy to point the finger at somebody else, but a real man, a real woman, a real person knows when it’s time to take the blame and when to take responsibility for their own actions.” – Marcus Smart
- “I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions, but to understand them.” – Baruch Spinoza
- “Human beings are born solitary, but everywhere they are in chains – daisy chains – of interactivity. Social actions are makeshift forms, often courageous, sometimes ridiculous, always strange. And in a way, every social action is a negotiation, a compromise between ‘his,’ ‘her’ or ‘their’ wish and yours.” – Andy Warhol
- “There is a price to pay for most of our actions. For every action, there is a reaction.” – Giancarlo Esposito
- “I can only control myself, my actions, my work ethic, and my attitude.” – Ali Krieger
- “I think it’s very important that you make your own decision about what you are. Therefore you’re responsible for your actions, so you don’t blame other people.” – Prince William
- “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.” – Tryon Edwards
Quotes about judging others
- “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” – Wayne Dyer
- “Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” – Albert Einstein
- “No one is the same, and we all have different life experiences. It’s not my place to judge them or for them to judge me. We should all be accountable for our own lives.” – Joanna Krupa
- “It’s not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even – or rather, especially – when we’d prefer not to be.” – Josh Radnor
- “You can’t please everyone. When you’re too focused on living up to other people’s standards, you aren’t spending enough time raising your own. Some people may whisper, complain and judge. But for the most part, it’s all in your head. People care less about your actions than you think. Why? They have their own problems!” – Kris Carr
- “Be kind, don’t judge, and have respect for others. If we can all do this, the world would be a better place. The point is to teach this to the next generation.” – Jasmine Guinness
- “My dad said, ‘Stay humble, and you gotta work harder than everybody else.’ My mom said, ‘Always be yourself.’ She always told me only God can judge me.” – Nate Robinson
- “We’re all different. That’s what makes us special. We have to love each other and get on with each other. It’s not up to me to judge anybody.” – Carrie Underwood
- “Let you look sometimes for the goodness in me, and judge me not.” – Arthur Miller
- “I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge.” – Gerald Jampolsky
Bonus quotes about being the bigger person
- “Have the maturity to know sometimes silence is more powerful than having the last word.” – Thema Davis
- “Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offence cannot reach it.” ― Rene Descartes
- “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” ― Mark Twain
- “Show respect to even those people who don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.” ― Dave Wills
Final thoughts
Deciding to be a bigger person is a wise thing to do. It might not always be easy, but you can take comfort in the fact that you are willing to rise above whatever you’re facing.
Use these quotes to inspire you when you need it most. Know that conflict is part of life, but you always have a choice in how you respond to it.
The most important lesson to take away from being the bigger person is that whatever behavior is being directed towards you is never personal. As Don Miguel Ruiz so perfectly explains, ”Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally…Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.”