In this day and age, we are simultaneously told to accept ourselves for where we are at, as well as strive to be the best version of ourselves possible. What is the difference between self-acceptance and self-improvement, and should we pursue them both?
Self-acceptance is about being content with who you are, while self-improvement is focused on making changes to better yourself. These two mentalities are both necessary for a balanced and happy life.
While most people can acknowledge that both of these approaches are a positive element of life, it can be tricky to know where to draw the line. In which situations should you accept yourself, or push through to change?
This also matters when dealing with other people. There are some times when we need to unconditionally accept our loved ones and colleagues, and other times when we might need to push them towards self-improvement. Especially when another person is involved, it can be challenging to know which approach is the most ethical and helpful.
Read on to find out more about the difference between self-acceptance and self-improvement, so that you can decide when it’s best to use each approach.
What Is Self Acceptance?
Self-acceptance is about being content with who you are. It’s the idea that, even if there are certain things about yourself that you wish were different (we all have these), this doesn’t make you any less valuable as a person and deserving of love and respect.
When we accept ourselves, we acknowledge our imperfections (without dwelling on them) and embrace who we are. We don’t feel the need to change ourselves, because we already like ourselves just as much as possible.
A common misconception about self-acceptance is that it means not trying to improve yourself at all. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Acceptance simply means that you don’t put all your self-worth on the line based on your accomplishments or how “perfect” you are.
When Do I Need More Self-Acceptance?
You may need to embrace self-acceptance if you find yourself beating yourself up over past mistakes you’ve made. If you find yourself dwelling on your failures or feeling worthless because of one mistake, then it’s important to focus on self-acceptance instead.
You may need more self-acceptance if you’re constantly seeking external validation from other people (such as for achievements in work or school). While this support is valuable, you can’t place all your happiness in others. It’s important to also be happy with the person that you are, before worrying about how other people feel about who that is.
Some ways that you can practice self-acceptance include:
- Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how small they seem.
- Treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would show a friend.
- Forgiving yourself for mistakes that you’ve made in the past.
- Being honest about your strengths and weaknesses, both to yourself and others.
- Using affirmations such as “I am enough” to remind yourself that you are worthy of love and respect.
By practicing self-acceptance, we can learn to be at peace with who we are as people, regardless of how much we’ve achieved or what mistakes we may have made in the past. This doesn’t mean that you should stop striving for personal growth and
When Am I Leaning Too Much Into Self Acceptance?
When we focus too much on self-acceptance, it can be difficult to make any progress in our lives. This happens because we become content with where we are, instead of always striving to be better. You may be using self-acceptance as a way to avoid dealing with your problems, instead of facing them head-on.
If you find that you’re not challenging yourself enough anymore, or if you’ve stopped setting goals for yourself, then it’s likely that you’ve leaned too far into self-acceptance. This can also manifest in a reluctance to try new things or meet new people, as we become scared of change.
If you’re not happy with certain aspects of your life or find yourself avoiding change, then it’s time to focus on self-improvement. You don’t have to shift everything about your life, but maybe it’s a good time to focus on one specific area with self-improvement.
What Is Self Improvement?
Self-improvement is about making changes to better yourself. It’s the idea that no matter who you are right now, you have the potential to be even better.
Self-improvement isn’t just about being content with where you are at, but rather using your current situation as a launching pad to improve yourself.
This doesn’t mean that you should always strive for improvement and never accept yourself for who you are. It’s important to find a balance between the two mentalities in order to have healthy self-esteem.
When Do I Need More Self Improvement?
You may need to focus on self-improvement if you find yourself stagnant in your life. If you’re not happy with where you are and feel like you’re not reaching your potential, then it’s time for some self-improvement.
If you find that you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, or that you’re always seeking external validation, then it’s time for some self-improvement.
You may also need to focus on self-improvement if you’re struggling with a mental health disorder or addiction. In these cases, it’s important to seek professional help in order to make progress.
Some ways that you can practice self-improvement include:
- Figuring out what you want in life and creating goals to work towards.
- Setting aside time each day for self-care, so that you’re always taking care of and improving yourself in small ways.
- Using affirmations to help you feel empowered and confident in your own abilities.
- Finding a mentor or role model that inspires you to work towards self-improvement through their example.
- Continuing to learn new things about the world around you that will improve your life in some way.
- Focusing on being optimistic about your chances of success when taking risks or trying something new.
- Understanding where self-improvement comes from is important, but so too is understanding how it can be used
Looking at issues from various points of view, instead of always getting stuck in one train of thought.
Remember that you’re not alone on your journey towards self-improvement, and there are countless people around the world working to improve themselves every day.
When Am I Leaning Too Much Into Self-Improvement?
Just like self-acceptance, it’s possible to lean too far into self-improvement. If you find yourself constantly pushing yourself in ways that are unhealthy or unsustainable, then this may be a sign of overuse of the concept. This could manifest as constant frustration with your current lot in life.
You may feel burnt out, never satisfied, and always striving for more. This isn’t a healthy way to live, and can actually lead to worsening mental health in the long run. It may also lead to you being unrealistically harsh in your expectations of others, which can potentially damage relationships.
When you’re feeling this way, it’s important to take a step back and assess your situation. Are you pushing yourself too hard? Are you seeking validation from others in unhealthy ways? Have your goals become too unrealistic?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, then it’s time to take a step back and reassess your life. You may need to reevaluate your goals, get some help from a therapist or other mental health professional, and take time off of any unhealthy habits that you’ve gotten into.
It’s great to have dreams for the future, but it’s also important to be realistic about what you can achieve in a given timeframe. Don’t let yourself become too caught up in the idea of self-improvement, or you may end up pushing yourself to no avail.
When Self Acceptance Is At Odds With Self Improvement
Self-acceptance and self-improvement don’t always have to be in conflict with each other. In fact, for many people, they can go hand in hand. However, there are times when self-acceptance may need to take priority over self-improvement.
For example, if you’re struggling with a mental health disorder or addiction, it’s important to seek professional help in order to make progress. Self-acceptance may need to be put on the back burner as you work towards finding ways to manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life.
Similarly, if you’ve recently experienced a major loss that has made it difficult for you to feel happy with your life as it is, then self-acceptance may be more important than trying to improve yourself. In these cases, it’s okay to take some time for reflection and to focus on accepting your current situation.
Eventually, you’ll want to work towards improving yourself again, but only when you’re ready. There’s no set timeline for this, and everyone progresses at their own pace.
When Self Acceptance Is in Favor of Self Improvement
Of course, self-acceptance doesn’t always have to be in opposition to improvement. Sometimes it can actually help you make positive changes in your life more quickly and ensure that they last over time.
For example, if you want to lose weight or start a new exercise regimen but keep sabotaging yourself by eating junk food out of the blue or skipping workouts, then self-acceptance may be the key to your success. This can lay a healthy foundation that makes you feel motivated to make the best choices for your health possible.
If you can accept that you’re not perfect and will make mistakes along the way, you’ll be more likely to forgive yourself and continue working towards your goals. This is much healthier than trying to force change on yourself while simultaneously berating yourself for every misstep.
Self-acceptance may also help you to be more realistic about your goals. Some people try to lose weight or live healthier lifestyles but set their expectations too high, which can lead them to become frustrated and quit when they don’t see results right away.
Final Thoughts
Self-acceptance and self-improvement are two sides of the same coin. They can be complementary or in conflict with each other, depending on the person and situation. However, in general, they work best when they are brought together in harmony and balance. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong answer – only what works for you.